Thursday, 2 October 2014

How to get your own George Clooney!

Here's our guide to the silver fox, so that every woman can land their own Mr Clooney.

On Sunday, actor George Clooney unintentionally broke a million hearts when he tied the knot with British-Lebanese barrister Amal Alamuddin at a private ceremony in Venice. Clooney, voted the sexiest man alive in 2006 by People magazine, said, in an interview, that the first thing to catch his attention in a woman is her sense of humour. 'It (humour) is not the first thing you notice at 21, but it's the first thing you notice now."

For 36-year-old Alamuddin, the age difference may have neither been a lure nor a deterrent. But not many women think a tryst with an older man will last. Here's our guide to taming the silver fox:

Have the talk

Most men over 40 don't consider themselves attractive to 20-year-olds. So, chances are he won't believe you are serious about him. Societal pressures play a role as well. If you are concerned about whether you are mature enough to date a man twice your age, don't worry. He's probably more nervous.

It's important to acknowledge the age-difference but don't let it overwhelm you. Psychologist Dr Pavan Sonar suggests having an honest talk to define the relationship. Older men have more experience from previous relationships and are less likely to play games. He says, "His expectations are likely to be more realistic and defining them will help avoid ambiguity."

Don't be intimidated

One of the biggest turn-ons for younger women is that older men, unlike their younger counterparts, are settled in life. They have climbed the career ladder and, live in their own house minus roommates.

However, this can be intimidating when you are still figuring out your career trajectory. Don't expect to be on par with your partner. The good news is that he will be able to offer you advice on work, savings and even taxes. Don't be afraid to use this resource.

Don't tick like a clock

Try not to remind him of the age difference constantly — you were celebrating your fifth birthday when he graduated from college. Going to hipster cafes where he is the oldest person is also going to rub it in further. He is probably already dealing with age-jibes from others, he doesn't need it from his partner. Take genuine interest in his music and books. Fortunately in bed, it's all the same.

Keep it fresh

After a certain age, we all get stuck in our ways. Mix it up and ensure both parties compromise when choosing the itinerary for the evening. He may enjoy dancing to hip-hop or trying Mexican food. Try new things together so you share experiences.

Choose wisely, going dirt bike riding may be pushing it.

Daddy complex

People are bound to mistake you for father and daughter. How you deal with it is crucial. Humour is your best weapon and being secure with the relationship your best defence. There is no need to get into a moral monologue with an acquaintance. A direct introduction of your partner is enough.

Meeting the friends

Meeting his friends can be awkward if you over-think it. Be prepared to hear some funny comments and taunts but take them in good spirit. Be yourself. If they are truly his friends they won't judge you severely. Be careful, however, of people who look at you as the trophy catch. It doesn't mean your beau thinks the same way.

I'd found my crazy love

Parveen Dusanj, 40, on 9 long years with actor Kabir Bedi, 68.

I've had a career before I came to India, and a successful one at that as a consultant for social change with the UK government. But here I'm only identified as Kabir's younger NRI girlfriend...I have been dismissed by society as the flavour of the moment, gold-digger etc.

While it amuses me now, in the early years I was very aware of others' perception of my relationship with Kabir, and their unkind reactions, but there are so many positives I wouldn't have it any other way.

I had found my crazy, madly, deeply kinda love and I wasn't going to run away from it. That's the thing about older men, they know what they want - they've made their careers, they've seen the highs and lows, they've battled and toiled and done all that. So, if they want you in their life, it's because they really want you there.

Kabir came with a lot of baggage, but, it was his history and it had shaped him to be the man that I love and admire today. There'll always be a few bumps along the way. It's not for everyone, but if you have something special then don't waste it. Clooney,Amal Alamuddin

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